Querida wifey feliz dia de madre...

Image via WikipediaDear Wife and Mother (of at least 3 of my children.  Hopefully that's all I have, and hopefully they're all mine.  I can handle the truth, because if I found out that I was puttin' up with drama from somebody else's kitten, it would be the opposite of good.),

Just to clear the air and confirm the speculation, I do love it when you call me big pappa.  I also love it when you wave your hands in the air like you just don't cur.

As I sit here staring at you peacefully sleeping on the couch (mild snore, regular breathing pattern), I can't help but look down the long journey we've taken.  As I look I think--what were we thinking and why didn't anybody talk us out of it?  Of course I'm referring to the three young "princesses" that run around the house with red pitchforks and pointy red ears, and not our marriage.  It's been T-riffic watching you put up with me.  Thanks for keepin' on with the keepin' on.  You're one cool mama with an attitude all full of spiciness.  If it wasn't for you our children would run all over me.  Sometimes I feel like an old person being scammed by a salesman, then you swoop in and remind me that our children have a very elaborate MO.  Let's just face it, if it wasn't for you vigilance and Hi Def 3-D vision, they'd be a hurtin'.  You've watched over them like a hawk ready to take on Tony the Tiger, if necessary.  And with Tony's sadist smile on that cereal box, it's always necessary.  "Grrrrrreat", he says.  What's so great about you Tony?  Did you go through 9 months of incoherent speech and bipolar like symptoms, only to be ended be a long excruciating labor?

Thanks for being such a great nurturer to our children, and constantly reminding me how to check and see if I'm still breathing.  Hold up... yep, still 48 bpms.  All seriousness aside, I love you approximately 78% more than Romeo loved that one chick he was after, who also happened to have a crazy extended family.  Anybody who acts surprised by that remark, might be the direct recipient.

Anyways, Happy Mother's Day.  We love you (speaking for myself and the children that are believed to be ours).  I hope you don't ever wise up some day and chirp them tires, leaving me and the kiddos to point fingers.  (They always gang up on me.  You can't out ninja Tha Ninja.)  Love you much.

Con besos y pesos (porque ya no tengo dolares... soy pobre, que hago?),

Your breathtakingly sexy husband.

tics, phos, and so's...

I try to avoid politics on this blog.  I just don't feel it a worthy cause.  Don't get me wrong, I still try to keep an eye on the latest antics in D.C..  This is no easy feat either.  As many of you know, Corporate America works hard to keep me out of politics.  Right now my mind is so wrapped around the genius behind Mr. Clean that I can't focus on anything else.  I just don't get how he created Magic Erasers.  I'm not completely ignorant, nor am I a skeptic.  I'm fully aware that there is a microfiber-like sponge.  What I don't get is if he filled the sponge with magic potion, or just cast a spell on the sponge.  You judge this thought, but I bet you couldn't explain it.  To have that kind of power to remove unwanted markings, while keeping all other physical items constant--that's magic!  I just didn't know that the authority of witchcraft was going to allow magic to be used commercially for a profit.  Doesn't that kinda cheapen their powers?  If you have that kind of power, why not just create money.  Maybe, it's the slow economy and they don't want their riches to be too obvious.  I guess that's when you know times are rough.  Even the wizards and sorcerers have to set aside their lavish lifestyle, and participate in the free market.  It's all mind boggling...Image via Wikipedia

As for the group with the bad ideas--you seriously think dropping all government activity except for the defense fund is a great idea?  Am I the only one who feels like a character in a George Orwell book?  I'm not talking about the Stalin figure, I'm talking about the rest of the population that buys the crap.  I'm talking about the ones who get crapped on.

To certain cable programs who think this is a sophisticated idea, I salute you--with my middle finger.  This isn't even phisticated, so how could it be so-phisticated?  This just tics me of.  It's ticated.  It's so below logic that I feel like all those congressman aren't even debating.  I think they just go laugh behind doors.  "Oh man, wait til we pitch this crap to the public.  It's gonna be a good laugh", Bohner can barely speak with out rolling on the floor laughing.

Image via Wikipedia

Then some dude with a small conscious (he's really more concerened about what might happen to him) asks, "do you think they'll buy it."

Bohner is still laughing, "they'll believe anything we put on Fox News.  All we have to do is play the audio while we show footage of spring break in Mexico."

Yeah, I said it!  I don't know if I'm more pissed about these morons, or the fact that I allowed such vile nonsense to inhabit space on my blog.

I said it alright...