Image via WikipediaDear Wife and Mother (of at least 3 of my children. Hopefully that's all I have, and hopefully they're all mine. I can handle the truth, because if I found out that I was puttin' up with drama from somebody else's kitten, it would be the opposite of good.),Just to clear the air and confirm the speculation, I do love it when you call me big pappa. I also love it when you wave your hands in the air like you just don't cur.
As I sit here staring at you peacefully sleeping on the couch (mild snore, regular breathing pattern), I can't help but look down the long journey we've taken. As I look I think--what were we thinking and why didn't anybody talk us out of it? Of course I'm referring to the three young "princesses" that run around the house with red pitchforks and pointy red ears, and not our marriage. It's been T-riffic watching you put up with me. Thanks for keepin' on with the keepin' on. You're one cool mama with an attitude all full of spiciness. If it wasn't for you our children would run all over me. Sometimes I feel like an old person being scammed by a salesman, then you swoop in and remind me that our children have a very elaborate MO. Let's just face it, if it wasn't for you vigilance and Hi Def 3-D vision, they'd be a hurtin'. You've watched over them like a hawk ready to take on Tony the Tiger, if necessary. And with Tony's sadist smile on that cereal box, it's always necessary. "Grrrrrreat", he says. What's so great about you Tony? Did you go through 9 months of incoherent speech and bipolar like symptoms, only to be ended be a long excruciating labor?
Thanks for being such a great nurturer to our children, and constantly reminding me how to check and see if I'm still breathing. Hold up... yep, still 48 bpms. All seriousness aside, I love you approximately 78% more than Romeo loved that one chick he was after, who also happened to have a crazy extended family. Anybody who acts surprised by that remark, might be the direct recipient.
Anyways, Happy Mother's Day. We love you (speaking for myself and the children that are believed to be ours). I hope you don't ever wise up some day and chirp them tires, leaving me and the kiddos to point fingers. (They always gang up on me. You can't out ninja Tha Ninja.) Love you much.
Con besos y pesos (porque ya no tengo dolares... soy pobre, que hago?),
Your breathtakingly sexy husband.
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