Easter Bunny...

Tomorrow is Easter.  By some miracle I remembered to get all the crap that the Easter Bunny will get credit for.  Not only is it a miracle that I already got all that stuff, but that I did it because I foresaw that my wife would not be here on Saturday night and there would be no one to watch the kids, while I go to the store at midnight.  There's no specific strategy to going at midnight the night before, that's just when I remember to do it.  I could tell that even on Friday certain Easter products were running low, but you wouldn't believe what the store looks like at midnight the night before Easter or Valentines (pretty much the night before any holiday you can catch me walking into the only place open [Walmart], as I'm swearing at myself the whole time.).  When I roll in at my regular time they act like the holiday has already passed.  They're marking down items and moving them to some clearance isle.  They put up festive crap for the next holiday.  I always feel like people are glaring at me, when they see how much stuff I'm trying to purchase.  Usually at that time, anybody in there is just picking up a few last things.  I'm there to get everything.

At that point I realize that I'm going to have to make a lot of none holiday items look festive.  I also start bargaining with the employees for a markdown on open candy.  I strategically set up three different bartering stations, 2 near the holiday section and one on the other side of the store.  This way I can catch people with stuff in their carts that is sold out.  This part tends to involve creativity and manipulation.  I'm offering people tickets to concerts and sporting events that I don't even have tickets for.  Anything to get them to give up a giant Hersey Kiss or pascal colored M&Ms.  Sometimes we just have a thumb war or arm wrestling, of course there is always that one creeper in a trench coat that asks me to act like a dragon.

It is way too labor intensive.  I thought that if I took my kids to the movie Hop, they could realize that the Easter Bunny isn't real.  It was the perfect plan.  I'd act just as surprised as them, then I wouldn't get blamed for breaking the news.  Not only did it not crush the myth, it encouraged them.  I had to sit through that crap for 90 minutes.  Very disappointed...