I need you to feel this...

It's been nearly two weeks now, that I've been living the dream.  Half of the dream anyways.  I've got the freedom, but that whole "independent wealth" part of the equation is still missing.  I've thought of every cure for this imaginable, from bank robbery to ponzi schemes.  I also tried to think if there is someone that might have listed me as a benefactor on their life insurance plan.  It always has the same hopeless ending every night, me staring at a computer that is connected to a web full of opportunities, none of which are for me.

It seems to be affecting my wife too.  She's probably rotating the same ideas across the screen that plays in here head.  In fact, just yesterday I remember her standing in the kitchen, as if preparing to dice some type of vegetable.  This was odd on two accounts.  First, my wife does not cook and I didn't think she even knew where the LARGE butcher's knife was.  Second, all she had was a knife in her hand, no cutting board, no produce items.  Her eyes were glazed over and she appeared to be facing a serious ethical dilemma, playing back possible outcomes in her mind.  No shame or tears, just concern.  I decided it was in my best interest not to mention all the LED TVs that were on sale for Super Bowl weekend.  I'm talking $40 bucks a month for like 3 years, no payments til they find out my real social security number.  This type of talk tends to upset the wifey.

Then again, I could have imagined the whole thing about the wife.  Paranoia seems to be a constant companion, when I have too much time to just sit around and think.  And always with the voices.  Blah. Blah.  Blah.

So then, for some for some random purpose, I had some moments of nostalgia or something.  Memories of work flooded my mind til I was overcome by a craving, that all power hungry people experience.  Yes my friends, I'm speaking of the need to abase a subordinate.  It's been too long since I've been able to shout on the phone- "I don't care what it costs, just get it done!" or "Maybe if you did it right the first time, we wouldn't be in this mess.  Now get it done!" or "Seriously, you have a Journeyman's license, and I have to show you how to do your job?" or "I'm tired of..." or "You incompetent piece of..."
The key is to always damage a person's spirit, humiliate publicly (if or when at all possible), insult their intelligence, and make them understand that breathing would be impossible for them, with out your approval.

I realize this is the old "traditional" form of management.  What can I say?  I just don't get as much pleasure from the "I know what you're going through...I'm so proud of you...I wish I had ten employees just like you", type of management.

A man has a need to dominate, it's how we are wired.  This is why we put saddles on giant animals and make them carry us around.  We use them for food after pretending to be their "friend" for years.  Unfortunately, my wife and daughters never got this memo in their "female guide to life" book.  I get it, women have billions of needs.  I'm only asking for one thing here.  If only I had a boy to torment.  We don't even have a dog anymore, and that's quite possibly the most enjoyable animal to dominate.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is: Members of the service industry, I apologize for my tourettes like behavior that you might to fall victim to.  I really need to dominate someone, and your tiny bit of sass, could be all I need to light this fire.  Good luck with your future and hopefully less pissed off customers.

All I'm saying is things could be better...