Drop it like it's hot...

Humble followers,

I'm not sure if I should continue to call you all followers, or upgrade your status to worshipers.  Look, it's all good, I don't freak out about people who might have a shrine dedicated to me in their house.  We've been through a lot together at this point, and we can skip all this coy none-sense.  Although, if that shrine happens to be in the master bedroom, we might have a problem.  If I'm in there, we've entered a whole new level of obsession, and that's awkward.  Speaking of awkward, some moron on TV is showing of his iPad.  He caught my attention, because it was just white noise at first.  It went like this- "blah, blah... I'll tap that...".  Ok, you've got my attention, what is being tapped?  That's when I realized he was talking about some Comcast app for iPad.  I was angry for the deceiving rhetoric.

Anyways, why would you want to hide that shrine in your room?  I've got plenty of love to spread around, don't hoard me away with your dusty doll collection.  I want to be out where the cleaners have to use special chemicals, so they don't destroy the imported materials.  I need to know that kids are being properly swatted and sent to bed hungry, just for breathing around your shrine.  I'm not going to tell you how to run your house, but I am going to tell you how I run mine, and I expect you to emulate me.  Hoarders are so inconsiderate with their weird obsessions.

Well now that I've gone so far off track, I fear that I've worn out the opener for my anouncement.  I was just rummaging through some former blog posts, and I realized that March 15, will be the 2nd monthiversery since I began to freely share my ramblings (I didn't throw a bash for the one month, but I am toying with the idea of letting you take out your significant other on that night).  Of course you will have to talk about my blog all night, and remember who told you to go on that date.  Yes, I think I deserve credit for the success of other people's relationship.  I get a direct deposit into my relationship, sort of like a "get out of the doghouse free!" card.

I'm fighting the eyelids now, so I guess I'll give in.