I hear them, I hear them...

Cover of Survival Story

What could be better than running from voices, all through the night?  It's rare that I ask questions that aren't rhetorical, unless I'm challenging someone, but seriously I don't have an answer for this.  I've tried everything, but sometimes it gets overwhelming.  The key is to man up, face the mirror, and say there is a dialogue in my head, and things are getting really out of control.  That's the sliver of humility required to overcome.  It's kind of like a twelve step program.  You mock me for it, but my ego is what's saved me from these voices.  If it is just your voice, spewing a never ending monologue in your head, you probably feel OK.  I'm here to tell you: You probably aren't  However, if there is more than one voice, you definitely have a problem.  The difference between me and the poor haunted individuals in the psych unit, is that I claim the voices.  No one notices you're crazy, until you honestly have no other excuse but the truth: the voices made me do it.   You're thrown out, or sent to the corner indefinitely. That's when authoritative figures say, "Really..? hmmm... ok then... follow me please (let me speak louder than all voices in your head: IT'S A TRAP! [my now current english teacher says: more than one exclamation point is obnoxious]).

Image via Wikipedia

So I made a bold and brave decision.  I called the bluff, declaring that all these different voices were really my inner-acting talent producing foreign accents (mostly European, because lets just face it the only socio-rebellion that they encourage anymore, is for teenage boys to wear tight girl pants and use their hands to iron their hair perfectly to the left and slightly down.  If only the emo world could be understood!).  Where was I?  Oh yeah... I don't have the blessing of hallucinations, so I have to imagine that I talk trash to 5 different cobras every morning in the mirror.  This is actually quite more effective than flexing muscles to feel tough.  One of them sounds like Austin Powers, one like Ron Burgandy, one like Richard (from Tommy Boy), one like Eric Cartman, and the most intimidating sounds like Chuck Norris.
Image via Wikipedia
It's OK, because I've conquered here, I'm in control, and those voices are really my inner-self running out of energy to fully exercise the daily demons.  So occansionally, the fight becomes so exhausting, that I have to run from it.  I wear noise isolation earbuds to silence the chatter.  After 2 hours of Tool, Rage, Flobots,  Eminem, or some other star with mommy and daddy issues, I'm free.  Not only that, but I return home with a Ph. D in marketing, emphasis on political propaganda.

And that's why I have a leg up, 5 associates, and a cutting edge understanding of mind control.  People click away from this blog so disoriented, that they don't know which way is up.

I guess you can add Martyr to my mainy titles.  How many of you would take on the voices in your head for me?

Chew it 50 times before you swallow...